John Hammer's BigMouthRacing.com

It's all about integration!

2006-12-25T11:35:00.000-05:00

I've been blogging on a couple of sites lately & wanted to consolidate things to one central place, so I've added this new page which will offer you one-click access to my stuff. The archive will stay here at BigMouthRacing and I may add photos & such here, too...but this way I only have to write one time and everyone can see what's been on my mind!

Happy New Year...Julie & I will have a LOT to write about!

Rosita and Pedro

2006-12-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

My 21st!

2006-12-03T17:49:00.000-05:00

This weekend I sold my '94 Mazda Miata with a custom turbo on it...big horsepower & the attitude to go with it. However, with a little guy on the way, I needed a sports car I could take him for a ride in. Enter, my 21st car since I turned 16: a 2001 Mazda Miata LS. Officially sprayed in Sunlight Silver, I bought it from it's original owner who delivered it to my door with only 4,300 miles on it. That's not a misprint, it's 5 years old with 4,300 miles on it. He hadn't even changed the oil in it.

I've already added a performance intake & exhaust kit, plus some sharp chrome vent rings inside for a bit of bling. I changed the oil & I'm exited to get her on the road & really make her mine. For more photos, just click the title above for my slideshow!

Everyone is asking; it stickered at over $24k...I paid half that. For what is essentially, a 5 year old new car.

Wanna go for a ride?!

NASCAR History Tour

2006-11-12T09:51:00.000-05:00

Saturday was stunning here in North Carolina. Sunny & 75. A warm breeze calling us to the open road.

Jules & I dropped the top on the Miata and headed from the Piedmont (the "flat" area of the state where we live; the Charlotte area) and went up through the Foothills (rolling hills) to the Mountains (if you need an explanation of that...). In about an hour, we were joining up with the Blue Ridge Parkway and got some great seat time in. Check out these pics...

On our way home, we drove through Wilkesboro, NC, home of the legendary North Wilkesboro Speedway, scene of countless NASCAR duels dating back to 1947. The final NASCAR race was held there in September of 1996.

The track has fallen into a sad state of dis-repair. Paint is peeling. The grounds are littered with un-raked leaves (it's Fall now). It simply feels old and abandoned. I got to drive up to the edge of the track and snap a few photos through the fence. In fact, that's what is blocking a portion of the one shot as I tried to put the camera through the chain links.

There is now a group of fans who are trying their best to save the old girl. You can see their work at SaveTheSpeedway.net. Despite the shape of the track, it was pretty neat to see her and to drive along "Speedway Road" thinking how many times Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt & others drove that same winding path to this legendary track.

I LOVE Charlotte...here's why...

2006-11-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

...I was out on business last week and flew back into Charlotte/Douglas Airport on Saturday morning. I was in Texas as an instructor for the Richard Petty Driving Experience; we're pretty high profile when we show up somewhere...until we get back home.

I was waiting at the baggage claim, a dozen of us there in our Petty shirts & jackets. I'm on the phone with the Mrs, when I look to my right and saw a man there sitting down... I recognized him, but didn't think much since I was on the phone. I looked back later & it hit me; it's Jack Sprague, the NASCAR truck series racer from Grand Haven, MI (where I used to live).

Ha, how cool is this city?!

Ultrasound pics. Yep, that's his penis!

2006-08-20T10:34:00.000-04:00

Check it out: we've got pics. And, he's got a penis. And he likes to show it.

I made this slideshow @ MyFlashFetish.com.
Check out this MySpace Slideshow!

Her pants were hermetically sealed to her ass!

2006-08-15T14:47:00.000-04:00

So, I'm having dinner at Applebees last night. Burger, beer, nothing fancy (as if there's an expectation of "fancy" at Applebees!). Turns out the waiter is also originally from Michigan so we swap a few laughs back & forth.

Then she appears.

This waitress is tall, damn close to 6 feet, I'd bet. Freakishly thin arms. A waist to make Mary-Kate Olsen jealous. Dye-job blonde hair, short. Far too tan.

And the pants.

I didn't even notice them the first few times she walked past. It wasn't until she took the drink order from the 2 girls at the table next to us when she stopped there & had her hind-end at table height from us. That's when I saw it: the pants went squarely UP her ass-crack. Painted on. Hermetically sealed against her anus.

For the rest of dinner, all we could do was stare at her each time she walked past: ass snugly encased in black pants so tight that there MUST have been Camel Toe from the front. Really, that's what we got from our angle: a Reverse Camel Toe.

As we were cashing out our check with the waiter from Michigan, I made a comment to him about her. "I know you've looked...we did too...those PANTS of hers!" He paused, smirked, looked around to check if he was safe then said...

"She's a stripper."

We cracked up rolling over on each other it was so funny! Of COURSE she's a stripper. And apparently, judging by the fact that she's working at Applebees on a Wednesday evening, not a particularly GOOD stripper at that.

But those pants. Damn!

Proof we're makin' a baby!

2006-07-31T21:17:00.000-04:00

Julie & I went to the OB for another checkup today...we're just past 15 weeks and so far so good. Being the dweebie audio guy I am, I brought my digital recorder & grabbed this sound of the little guy's heartbeat.

Like every good Moby tune, 149 beats per minute sound pretty good here.

Simply click the link to listen or right click & you can save this very short .mp3 file!

Our Kid's Hearbeat!

Behold, the GarageMahal!

2006-07-25T21:55:00.000-04:00

We're headed to Deals Gap for a Miata Club weekend, but first, our friends Sandy & Jerry Bacon stopped over from Michigan for a visit. After all the stories of the GarageMahal, they got to see it first hand tonight.

We've always said it was a 6 Miata garage, and since we had several here, we figured we'd see what we could actually fit in.

How about FOUR Miatas, a PT Cruiser AND a Personal Watercraft! It's true, we CAN fit SIX Miatas in our garage if they were here.

Expanding The Pit Crew!

2006-07-18T09:14:00.000-04:00

Expanding the Pit Crew!

July 16, 2006
Mooresville, NC

As the BigMouthAudio.com racecar tears up the track, other action has BMA's Creative Director John Hammer expanding his "Pit Crew."

"Julie & I are proud to announce that we are expecting a son this coming January!" said an excited, but nervous, Hammer. "Did you know the "average" child wears over 9,000 diapers in his first 2&1/2 years! Uhhhh, I've never changed ONE!"

Modern ultrasound technology shows that Baby Hammer shares his father's penchant for performance driving as well:

You're welcome to send mass quantities of Pampers to Julie and bottles of Single Malt Scotch to the uptight father to be.

Maiden Voyage Success!

2006-06-24T18:11:00.000-04:00

You know me...I'm a total car guy. I've owned 20+ cars including a couple of racecars. Well, I just got a new-to-me Tigershark Montego personal watercraft.

Today was the maiden voyage.

Damn, what a hoot! If you ever get the chance to ride a Jetski/Waverunner/Personal Watercraft, I highly recommend it. It is so choice.

On the water, 40mph feels like you're doing 80. Hit some waves just the right way and off you go into the air, bow first.

I'm so stoked right now...

Wanna go for a ride with me?

Dang, I'm soooo sloooowwww

2006-05-30T12:17:00.000-04:00

I know it's been soooo long since I posted! Here's a great idea: keep an eye on my business site: I've been really good at keeping that updated: www.BigMouthAudio.com.

As for the racing (that's what we're supposed to talk about over here, right?!) I'm hoping to run at Lowes Motor Speedway next month. I've got to hustle, but I think I can get the car ready.

Details soon.

Honest!

Shaken...not stirred!

2006-04-26T10:51:00.000-04:00

Mazda Miata...NOT a wimp car!

2006-04-25T12:41:00.000-04:00

There are 2 new TV commercials for Mazda's completly redesigned MX-5 Miata roadster. At this time, they're not released for the USA, but thanks to the internet, you can watch them here! Just click the headline link & enjoy the show.

BTW, the BigMouthAudio.com SpecMiata is anxiously awaiting it's debut on Southern soil...stay tuned for details there!

Long time, no see!

2006-04-24T07:12:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I know...it's been too long since I updated here. Please, a thousand pardons, oh wise one!

So what's been up? Well, I'm getting settled in North Carolina now. I've learned that while Grits is served with nearly every meal as a plebian side dish, Shrimp And Grits is a VERY classy meal served in the nicest restaurants. Hmmmph.

My company, BigMouthAudio.com has a brand new website. Go to www.BigMouthAudio.com and you'll see what I've been up to there. To be honest, I've been posting blogs there lately since I'm trying to LOOK like a real business (I am, silly!).

What about the racecar? Well, it's here with me in the shop and I do plan on getting out and running a couple of events this year. The racing budget is getting eaten up quickly since we've not yet sold the house in Michigan. Hell, my entire season's budget is just 2 months' payments on that albatross so you can see how I'm limited. I'll keep you posted though.

Speaking of Michigan...I'm heading back up there in a couple of weeks. Looks like May 10th now, but that could change again, too. I still have to get my Miata out of storage & bring it down here so I'll fly in, hang for a couple of days and then drive it home to NC.

If you're still reading this: know that I'm keeping my Michigan phone number for the time being so you can call me anytime.

You're certainly missed, but when you come visit, you'll see why Charlotte is THE place to be!

That was a Big Ass Drive!

2006-03-17T06:11:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note this morning: we're in Charlotte, NC...and it's beautiful! Now, if my stuff would just get here so I can have clean underpants to wear :)

And for all the guys: yes, the racecar, on the trailer, hitched to the truck, all fits perfectly inside the garage with space for 3 more Miatas next to it all. Whoo hooooo!

I'll have more soon and remember my new email: John@BigMouthRacing.com

Love you all!

Final note before it all goes down!

2006-03-14T07:49:00.000-05:00

This is it...just before 8am on Tuesday, move day! The guys will be here to load in about an hour & I've still got to tear my home studio down. No problem...right?! We'll see how it goes!

One more update from today...

2006-03-13T18:38:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I hate plumbing?! Grrrrrrr.... Well, whether we're ready or not, the movers are here at the house at 9am Tuesday. Wanna come watch it go down? Stop on by...I'd offer up some coffee...but my coffee maker is packed away! LOL

Moving Update...

2006-03-13T07:18:00.000-05:00

Well, so far so good. We're getting closer. Thanks to Larry & Mike, I've channeled my inner Bob Vila and the new stair railings will be installed later today. I've got a LOT of crap to still box up, but we're getting there. The master bath has been updated with new flooring, new paint and the toilet is in, we'll wrap up the vanity/sink in just a bit. Overall, it's coming together.

The moving truck comes Tuesday to pack our stuff & if you're in the neighborhood anytime between now & then, you're welcome to come visit & lend a hand, we sure could use it!

Thanks!

Hey...NEW Email Address!!!

2006-03-08T13:41:00.000-05:00

With the move to North Carolina, I need you to update your address books for me. Eventually, I'll change my cell number although I'll keep the MI number for a short time. I also need you to update your email address now: John@BigMouthRacing.com is the one that matters!

Just a few weeks...

2006-03-01T20:49:00.000-05:00

...until I'm in my new home in Mooresville, NC. This is big. The biggest adventure ever. I'm terrified, I'm thrilled. I can't wait!

2006-02-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy

For Sale: One SCHWEET house!

2006-02-14T19:42:00.000-05:00

Our home is for sale as we continue our move to North Carolina. For details on the house, just click the headline. If you help me sell the house, you can bet I'll buy the steaks & drinks!

Yes, he's a DumbAss...

2006-02-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

No, it's not me. Hell, it's not even SMART...but, it's kinda fun to watch if nothing else!

18,000 RPM & Lord knows how many dB!

2006-02-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

You've got to see this video. It's the Arrows Formula 1 team putting their engine through it's "warm up" procedure. If you've got good speakers, I suggest turning them up. I scared folks in my office when I fired this puppy up!

Goodbye, my friend the Saab!

2006-02-07T19:26:00.000-05:00

Well, it's a done deal. My '91 Saab 900 SPG now has a new home in Chicago. I feel really good too, when Meyer opened the door to the garage & saw her for the first time, his eyes lit up: PERFECT, he's a car guy too! I know, it's just a car, but I have to tell you, it's sooooo important to me that such a wonderful, rare machine goes to a family that respects what it is and will enjoy it thoroughly.

Hammer's Saab is For Sale!

2006-01-20T20:38:00.000-05:00

Well, it's time to thin the herd. Something has to go and I've chosen to put my 1991 Saab 900 SPG on the market.

I bought it with 52,000 miles on the odometer: it now has just a bit over 86,000. It's in fantastic shape & is my daily driver. I've replaced the plugs, wires, cap, rotor, battery, a front motor mount and most fluids. Other than that, it's been perfectly reliable & a joy to drive! It runs beautifully and is a very impressive car. SPG stands for Saab Performance Group, this was their factory hot rod and the fastest car they had ever built up to that time. I know..."Hammer, I've never heard of SPG before!" That's because they're very rare: less than 7,000 were brought to the States...and in 1991, they only brought in 254...heck, only 105 in black. Talk about a rare car!

Want to learn more about the SPG? Of course you do! Just Click HERE!

I know, I know: "How much do you want?" Well, we've seen 150,000 mile SPGs sell for nearly $7,000. Realistically, I'd be perfectly happy with $X,XXX or best offer.

WAIT! Price DROP! We're moving now & the car has to go! Now, I'm simply asking for your BEST OFFER. No, I won't sell it to you for $2,000, but do a bit of research on SPGs & you'll know what they sell for. Will I take less than $5k? If you've got cash...

Click the link above for the online ad, or shoot me an email for the details: OwnThisSPG@BigMouthRacing.com

Okay, I know this may sound a bit queer...

2006-01-09T09:25:00.000-05:00

But I'll take the chance. A friend spotted me some music from Michael Buble. He has a song on the radio you may have heard called "Home" that's quite good. Turns out, he's doing his own modern day version of "Standards" like Sinatra, Elvis (the good stuff!) and others. Real Rat Pack sounding stuff with a full band. I'm very impressed and suggest you give it a shot yourself.

Well, first there's horoscope, now there's my "Personality Type"

2006-01-01T20:31:00.000-05:00

Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Judger (ENFJ) personality commonly referred to as "The Growth Teacher"

ENFJ general

There is usually one thing on you mind: relationships. Your ability to create and sustain meaningful and loving relationships is an integral part of your happiness, or lack thereof. Whether you are dealing with people on a business, friendship, family, or romantic level, you place a great value on developing quality relationships and making sure they are always improving.

ENFJ when in love

As an Extraverted Feeler, you absolutely love to communicate with your mate-verbally expressing feelings of affection and tenderness and discovering what your partner really values. You also tend to have a consuming desire to spend time with your soul mate; you can barely stand it when he or she is away. Although you probably have many friends, you want to include your mate in you social life as much as possible. The danger: Your 100 percent emotional investment in you love one may leave you feeling overextended-lacking the energy to take care of your own needs because you are so busy taking care of your lover’s.

ENFJ where to meet

Where can you meet a Growth Teacher? You can find the Growth Teacher in leadership positions in business, teaching, and government. They have terrific social skills and are easy to approach.

I'm not one for Horoscopes...

2006-01-01T13:03:00.000-05:00

But I found mine for 2006 & thought it was interesting & retrospective.

LIBRA: You're such a responsible friend and member of the team that you could wear yourself out finishing the work others leave undone this year. It's nice to be nice, of course, but in all fairness to yourself, make sure that they do their part too. This will free you to explore your own dreams and fantasies, instead of staying stuck in someone else's reality.

If you know me well, you're reading that & saying..."Hmmmm...yeah, that could be John on so many levels..."

See, I'm not a HORNDOG, I'm just CREATIVE!

2005-12-29T07:10:00.000-05:00

A new British study says that being creative and having an active sex life may go hand-in-hand. Dr. Daniel Nettle, a psychology teacher at Newcastle University's School of Biology, says, "Creative people are often considered to be very attractive and get lots of attention as a result. They tend to be charismatic and that grabs people's interest."

Hey Mom, Happy Birthday!

2005-12-19T12:55:00.000-05:00

Not that she's ever going to actually SEE this post on my blog, but her birthday was over the weekend and I want you all to know she's a cool chick...no, I'm not a Momma's Boy, but I am glad that I have her and appreicate all she's done for me in my nearly 4 decades on this planet.

Cheers, Mom. Here's to many more! I love you.

Oh Holy Nightie!

2005-12-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

Tonight is our Midwest Family Broadcasting holiday party. Kind of odd if you think about it: we spend all kinds of time together already...then we get together on the little time we have off...to be together more!

All joking aside, it's traditionally a really great meal with wonderful wines. Plus, it's an excuse to dress up.

Speaking of that...how do I get wrinkles out of a wool suit?

Secret Code

2005-11-28T09:37:00.000-05:00

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter an it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he E-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Rest in peace, Dave Mulder

2005-11-28T09:32:00.000-05:00

I just got word this morning that a fellow racer and neighbor, Dave Mulder, passed away over the holiday weekend. Dave apparently had a heart attack, although details are thin at this point. He was a member of the Furrin Group, an autocross and rally club I've belonged to for many years. Not too long ago, Dave and his family moved into the home at the end of my street: right there in my cul de sac, just 4 houses down from me. He stopped my wife one day and asked "Is this John Hammer's house?" because he recognized my truck from club events.

He was in my driveway just days ago, talking about how we should go to the Sno Drift Rally together in January. He was always trying to get me to a rally.

He'll be missed for sure, both in our racing community and on my street.

Turkey & Turkeys

2005-11-20T09:18:00.000-05:00

Coming up on Thanksgiving...hmmmm... Glad I don't have to cook a turkey this year. I really enjoy cooking, but there's something too stressful about doing a full Thanksgiving meal. It takes something that I enjoy and turns it into an irritating performance. Ironic since my career is a "performance" of sorts and I embrace that.

Speaking of performances... I'm really disappointed in my buddy Warren, he was our morning host at our rock station. I say he "was" because while he'd turned in his 2 weeks notice, he decided to up & quit on us after just 1 week. So, this coming week we're left hanging with no morning show. That's where I come in. I got the call from our Program Director on Saturday asking if I could fill in this week. Well, I'm not stupid, sure I will. I've said it before, I'd say it again: if the right opportunity came along, I'd go back on the air in a heartbeat. So, I'll be up at the asscrack of dawn on Monday...if you're in the area, check me out on Rock 107 WIRX!

Must-Have Tools...

2005-11-14T13:28:00.000-05:00

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted airplane part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog **** off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16 INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large prybar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm
howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their heads.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50¢ part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.

EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in foresight

NASCAR recognizes Spec Miata!

2005-11-12T22:11:00.000-05:00

"Spec cars, such as SCCA Spec Miata, and now NASCAR -- and increasingly Formula 1--take the car out of the equation and it becomes more driver vs. driver. This is the purest form of racing, and in some cases, such as Spec Miata, it might not draw a crowd, but so what? We're talking pure sport. I predict that in the next two decades, every major type of racing will be a spec series."

- H.A. "Humpy" Wheeler

Humpy is one of the most influential track owners in the country. I find it very exciting that he recognizes what we do with the BigMouthRacing team: racing Spec Miata!

4 Hours Racing a Miata

2005-11-12T09:40:00.000-05:00

This is a fantastic video (about 5 minutes, it streams) that follows the new 2006 Miata race car in a race that features media types.

One of the interesting things I noticed was that the softtop appears to still be in the cars and the rollcage is mounted around it. That has been a concern from guys like me who began our motorsports careers by taking our street cars, adding rollbars and going to the track for lapping days. The new top appeared to make the addition of a rollbar difficult...hopefully this proves that it's not.

Play "LUST FOR BUST" Here!

2005-10-31T10:26:00.000-05:00

It's the hottest game on the Internet...click the title and play today. However, choose a better beer!

Nearly Thanksgiving!

2005-10-27T10:46:00.000-04:00

So I've got to hit you with the Mad Gobbling Props!

Giving 100%

2005-10-07T09:54:00.000-04:00

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

It's confirmed...I'm slow!

2005-10-05T23:26:00.000-04:00

What a great evening! Marc Miller drives the #8 Carhartt Racing Dodge Intrepid in the CASCAR series (think Stock Car racing in Canada...eh?!). We met at the SCCA Runoffs a couple weeks ago at Mid Ohio Sports Car Course...long story short, Marc is from my side of the state & we hooked up tonight to give him some seat time in my Spec Miata. By the end of the night, he had cranked out a 1:41.4xx lap...beating my personal best by 1.2 seconds! What does that mean? Well, he IS a professional driver, so I expected him to do well in the car...at the same time, he's shown me that I've still got plenty to learn in the car...and I want to get back out there & find that speed!

For info on Marc & his racing program, click TheMarcMillerShow.com.

Drifting is not a sport

2005-10-05T13:02:00.000-04:00

It is the dumbest thing in motorsports since lawnmower racing and this video proves that Drifting is thinning the herd one idiot at a time. Click the title & watch the video. What a tool.

The Hammer In The Dells...

2005-09-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

Sounds like a cheezy children's song huh?!

This weekend is our annual Midwest Family Sales Conference, where all of our reps from all five of our markets get together and drink. Somewhere in there we go to some seminars. One night we even dress up. Mostly, we get together and drink.

In Wisconsin Dells, WI.

No, I'm not bringing you back any Cheese Curds.

Spec Miata goes National on one tire!

2005-09-28T16:38:00.000-04:00

The class of car I race in is now recognized as a National class by the Sports Car Club of America. That's big! Former National SCCA Champions include Bobby Rahal and Paul Newman...BIG names for sure! To make it even (well, as even as you can get in racing!), they've decided that we'll ALL race on the Toyo RA-1 race tire. Brilliant idea. Well...as long as they don't choose to screw us on the price. Or availability. Or...

Is Jethro FOR SALE?

2005-09-11T18:32:00.000-04:00

We named the Hodgson Heating & Cooling Spec Miata "Jethro" because the car's previous owner had "Hillbillied" the poor thing. Since it's re-masculation project (turning it into a racecar!), the name stuck & the car has been very successful for us.

I now have the potential opportunity to buy another SpecMiata that is ALMOST finished. This car has had a less beat up life than Jethro...and while the money would be about the same when I'd finish it, it's tempting to take on the project.

Want to buy Jethro? Make me an offer! John@BigMouthRacing.com

BigMouthRacing's Season Finale

2005-09-07T20:46:00.000-04:00

The Hodgson Heating & Cooling Spec Miata took to the track for one final weekend of wheel to wheel racing over the Labor Day holiday.

Practice on Friday night showed the car was quick, then the team competed in 2 race groups meaning LOTS of track time on Saturday. Team driver John Hammer tells us about it: "It was a blast out there. Actually, my first race was a really good one with plenty of action around me. It was my best qualifying ever: 9th overall (out of 28 cars!). I finished 8th, but dropped back from 7th after I got caught when an errant orange cone had been kicked up onto the track at Turn 7. I had to swerve to avoid it & the #189 SM got by me at that point. Check this out though: after that battle...the owner of the #189 car came to me & complimented me on my driving, then offered me a co-drive in next year's 10 Hour race in his car!"

Later that afternoon, the team took the green flag again.

"The second race was pretty scary: my tires burned down to cords and got VERY slippery. Believe the guys on TV when they say how important your tires are...the car pushed like a pig that 2nd race. I did make some early passes, but slowed down once the tires went away...I was still able to keep my position though: started 12th, finished 12th out of 26."

The car will now see limited practice time as the Summer ends & Michigan weather cools quickly. Up next: the British Car Show & Go where the Hodgson Heating & Cooling Miata will help novice track day enthusiasts explore a real racetrack! See www.thebritishcarshowandgo.com for all the details.

We're going RACING THIS WEEKEND!

2005-08-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

The end of Summer brings one last opportunity to race...and what a race it'll be!

This Saturday, join the BigMouthRacing team as they take on the challenging Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI. "It's part of the Midwestern Council's big endurance race weekend" says team driver John Hammer. "The Hodgson Heating & Cooling Miata is ready too...in testing last week, I turned my personal best laps ever there!"

The team invites you to be part of the weekend as well: we'd love to have you at the track Saturday to watch some great racing. Hammer adds: "Yeah, and if you're really lucky...I'll let you torque my nuts!" The weather forecast is low 80's & sunshine. For details of the weekend, check out: www.GingermanEnduro.com

**BigMouthRacing competes a Spec Miata racecar and thanks sponsors Hodgson Heating & Cooling of Battle Creek, AutoRacing1.com and BigMouthAudio. Follow the team at BigMouthRacing.com.

Strangers On My Flight!

2005-08-25T12:22:00.000-04:00

Frank Sinatra sings again...for the next milennium! Just click the title above.

So this guy's at work...

2005-08-23T12:36:00.000-04:00

This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing himthat his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room wherehe's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor,with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, theguy interrupts.Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, Ican't take it. I love her."Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news."Again the guy interrupts.Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in avegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of herlife. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take herhome because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."The guy slumps, just crushed.Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five timesa day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'lllikely live for at least another 30 years."The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, soyou'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipmentyou'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the markettoday and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonnaneed the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wifeneeds and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, youshould be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of state and federalaid."By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, lookat me." The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fuckingwith you, she's dead."

Meowwwwwwww!

2005-08-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

A cat in Nevada is recovering from a foray atop a power pole that left it jolted, frizzled and dazed -- and with a little less fur. Firefighters believe the cat touched a relay switch on the 25-thousand-volt line while checking out a bird's next. It fell from the 40-foot pole and sparked a fire outside a firehouse. Firefighters found the singed cat near the base of the pole. They assumed it was dead, until they noticed it was breathing. They put it on a blanket and gave it oxygen. It turns out the burns weren't as serious as they looked. One of the firefighters says ``the fire just burned all his hair off.'' The cat's expected to make a full recovery, and will be put up for adoption if no one claims it.

Big Ass Wreck @ Watkins Glen!

2005-08-15T13:55:00.000-04:00

This past Friday, the Grand Am series raced in support of the NASCAR weekend. This was one of the craziest crashes I've ever seen. Apparently, there was an incident just prior to this that oiled the track down...add in the pouring rain & it was all over! Click the title to watch the video!

BigMouthAudio.com is ONLINE!

2005-08-06T19:08:00.000-04:00

For years, I've been helping companies make themselves stand out in the marketplace with better radio advertising. Now, I'm offering that service for ANY company ANYWHERE! BigMouthAudio.com contains my thoughts on advertising, links to great sites for small businesses who need to market themselves and contact information so you can increase your bottom line.

Get the most out of your advertising budget when you SAY something I CARE ABOUT! Do it today with BigMouthAudio.com!

Hammer's Vacation Pictures!

2005-08-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

Vacation was at Deals Gap at the border of Tennessee and North Carolina. It's an 11 mile run of US129 with 318 turns! "Killboy" is a guy who photographs folks going through the Gap & he got me a few times.

Check out a few here:
http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prsm.dll?eventOrder?photo=04RK00530A2292&start=0&album=0

Then there's these...
http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prsm.dll?EventOrder?ts=1123086655000

And if you're really bored...just go to www.killboy.com and nose around for a while.

Because techie-dweebs can't get laid...

2005-08-03T16:24:00.000-04:00

Well, you've heard the stories on the news about the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and the hidden sex scenes in it.

CAUTION: Adult Content!

Click the title of this post for a direct link to an actual screen recording of the scene in the game.

Man, I'll never look at Pac Man the same way again.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Blastoff!

2005-07-15T15:01:00.000-04:00

July 15, 2005

This weekend, John Hammer & the Hodgson Heating & Cooling Spec Miata race with NASA. That's, the National Auto Sport Association, a sanctioning body running a 2 day event at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI.

"This will be our third & fourth races of the season at Gingerman" says Hammer who considers the 1.88 mile, 11 turn track his second home. "Three weeks ago we raced here with the Sports Car Club of America and had the best wheel to wheel action of my career! I can't wait to see how NASA runs their event, plus, we're bringing in a crew to film a promotional video to show potential sponsors the excitement they're part of when they're on the car!"

Come join the team for the weekend. Spectators are always welcome at Gingerman. For directions & details, see GingermanRaceway.com or SpecMiataChallenge.com.

John Hammer drives the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio, AutoRacing1.com Spec Miata in the Sports Car Club of America's Club Racing series and the Spec Miata Challenge in the National Auto Sport Association. He is a radio personality and motorsports journalist. For information on the team, appearances and sponsorship opportunities, send an email to BigMouthJohn@comcast.net

2005-07-05T20:01:00.000-04:00

What a crazy few days...

Saw some great fireworks in St Joe on Sunday. Some fair ones in Battle Creek Monday. Looks like I sold my Miata after 11 years...and I'll be buying another one to replace it. Today was my first day off the morning show to focus more on Creative Services...that went ok. Just ok. I'll miss being on the air in the morning. Having dinner with an old high school friend tomorrow.

Teacher, Teacher!

2005-06-30T13:57:00.000-04:00

They say memorization works best when set to music...I'll never think of the ABC's the same way again!

Happy Birthday America

2005-06-30T11:36:00.000-04:00

I'll have a beer for ya! Actually, I'm hoping to spend the holiday selling my Miata. See the link below for the webpage & help me sell my car!

Other stuff...hmmm...my pal Chris is getting married in a week. Sucker!

Went to my first Battle Creek minor league baseball game the other day. They're no Lugnuts.

My lawn looks like ass. I'm too cheap to water it.

That's it for now. More ugly life details to come.

2005-06-23T13:42:00.000-04:00

With the disaster that was the US Grand Prix at Indy last weekend, Michelin is trying to calm the firestorm of bad publicity...

Fast Fathers & Fun Friends!

2005-06-21T20:27:00.000-04:00

John Hammer and the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio Spec Miata raced Fathers' Day weekend...it was the South Bend Sprints at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI.

Unseasonably cool temperatures kept the speeds up as the Spec Miata track record fell by more than 1 second. Gingerman is Hammer's home track and his competitiveness was obvious right off the bat. "It was pretty cool after qualifying when Mike Neal, one of our fastest guys, came up to me and actually commented that I was driving MUCH better than I had at Grattan" says Hammer. Saturday qualifying put the #08 car in 17th starting position. The start was another thing as the 170,000 miles on the engine meant acceleration was not up to par with the rest of the field. Hammer lost 7 positions at the start. "Don't let it fool you, I was in a 5 way battle for position the whole race, it was really great!" A 23rd place finish out of 28 starters was also an 8th place in class finish.

Sunday, the sun was back out & the temperatures rose. Qualifying saw just about everyone fall off by about one second. The Hodgson / Bigmouth car qualified 20th of 32 starters, but again, lack of horsepower saw Hammer fade at the start. "I really need a new engine!" says Hammer. "But man, what a race! Dennis (in an old Pinto!) had the horsepower, but I had him in the corners and we fought a great battle with Conrad in his CRX." Hammer finished 19th and after the race, the 3 drivers had some great laughs in the paddock.

The car came back with nothing more than a few paint chips and a new clean entry in it's logbook. "You know" says Hammer, "Some folks actually spend their free time BOWLING...I don't get that!" Up next, the team looks at racing Waterford Hills Raceway near metropolitan Detroit.

John Hammer drives the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio, AutoRacing1.com Spec Miata in the Sports Car Club of America's Club Racing series. He is a radio personality and motorsports journalist. For information on the team, appearances and sponsorship opportunities, send an email to BigMouthJohn@comcast.net

Come Join Us @ The Racetrack This Weekend!

2005-06-14T13:16:00.000-04:00

Racing Father's Day Weekend!

John Hammer & the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio Spec Miata are back on track this weekend competing in the South Bend SCCA's double regional weekend at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI.

"This is my home track, I've been running it for 6 years and of all the tracks we run, this one I may actually have a chance at a respectable finish!" says Hammer with tongue in cheek. "Since this is the track closest to my home, I'm inviting all of my friends out to see the racing this weekend. Come out and support your local racers! Heck, I'll even let you set the tire pressures on the racecar!"

KAZOOM will be represented in Spec Miata by Hammer & member Bill Pruitt.

John Hammer drives the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio, AutoRacing1.com Spec Miata in the Sports Car Club of America's Club Racing series. He is a radio personality and motorsports journalist. For information on the team, appearances and sponsorship opportunities, send an email to BigMouthJohn@comcast.net

Miata For Sale!

2005-06-12T08:42:00.000-04:00

After 11 years of ownership, I'm putting my '94 Mazda Miata up for sale. This is a very rare car and well built for agressive street driving, autocross and track days. Now that I have my own racecar, my street car doesn't have to be quite so extreme, so I'm already looking for another Miata with a few more creature comforts. The '94 however, is the perfect car for someone who truly enjoys driving. I created a webpage with all the information, just click the title above for the details. If your reference helps sell the car, I'll buy you dinner!

Some days just rock...

2005-06-05T12:43:00.000-04:00

Saturday, I woke up at the Old Harbor Inn, in South Haven, MI looking out into Lake Michigan. I stopped for a look-see at Gingerman Raceway where I had a great Sausage, Bacon & Cheese ommelette and hung out with the Viper Racing League drivers for a half hour. Then, back on the road to metro Detroit where I got to hang with my old radio teacher & friend Will Hatch. On to a party with the Wetzels & our old high school crew and finally a late dinner of Chicken Marsala with Lyn, her fiancee Milos & friends.

Just about perfect. Except for the baseball sized swelling of my left ankle now. Ouch!

When Top 10 is as good as a victory

2005-06-05T12:38:00.000-04:00

May 31, 2005

John Hammer and the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio Spec Miata opened the race season with an exciting weekend at the West Michigan Region SCCA Memorial Day Circus Double Regional. It wasn't a victory, but for the team, just being there is a win.

"I have to tell you, it's been a dream come true to be on the track with the rest of these guys" says Hammer, starting this third season in the Sports Car Club of America's Club Racing program. "To think, just a few years ago I was dreaming of owning fireproof underpants and now, here I am with a legitimate reason to wear them!"

Each day of the Double Regional is treated as it's own race, with qualifying and race sessions Saturday and Sunday. This was only the third time the team had raced at Grattan Raceway so Saturday was essentially a test day. Still, the race group included nearly 45 cars on track with nonstop action for the entire time! Hammer says "Think of rush hour traffic on I-94...now, imagine it at 100
miles per hour as all 45 cars are trying to be the first into a right hand turn with just inches separating them...it was WILD!"

On Sunday, the team watched the sky as threatening clouds drenched the area just North of the track, but the racing surface stayed dry and the speeds increased. In fact, the new track records set on Saturday would only have gotten you 3rd
place on Sunday. Hammer's times dropped as well and the race began with him in a 3 way battle for position. After making those 2 passes, the 08 Spec Miata was on it's way to a 9th place finish. "I want to thank Hodgson Heating & Cooling, Tim Dowling and my wife Julie for their help this weekend!"

"While most folks spent the weekend watching Formula 1, the Indy 500 or the NASCAR race, I actually WAS racing. No, I didn't take the checkered flag first, but with help from my friends, I have already won."

Follow the team's action all season long. Up next: Father's Day Weekend at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI.

John Hammer drives the Hodgson Heating & Cooling, BigMouthAudio, AutoRacing1.com Spec Miata in the Sports Car Club of America's Club Racing series. He is a radio personality and motorsports journalist. For information on the team, appearances and sponsorship opportunities, send an email to BigMouthJohn@comcast.net

Time to go racing!

2005-05-22T11:23:00.000-04:00

This coming weekend kicks off our season of sports car racing! I'll be driving the Hodgson Heating & Cooling Spec Miata at Grattan Raceway (near Rockford, MI) for a 2 day event. If you're in the neighborhood, stop on by, I can always use crew!

Sore...but a good kind of sore!

2005-05-22T11:21:00.000-04:00

What a great day we had yesterday! 199 of our closest friends showed to be part of KAZOOM's Miatas & More V presented by Hayes Mazda. It was a car show, a banquet, a back road tour, an autocross and a lot of fun. The weather was perfect: Sunny & 78 and everyone had a wonderful experience. Watch for photos at our club website: www.KAZOOM.org.

Now...I need a nap!

I BLEW UP AN F'ING CAR!

2005-05-13T19:47:00.000-04:00

OK, I'm on the morning show at Rock 107 WIRX and the other guy on the show, Kluck, had this POS '89 Lincoln Town Car that had no business being on the road. So this morning, we drained it of fluids, ran the engine until it blew a connecting rod through the block and then crushed it in a portable car crusher. Click the title above for the photographs!

John Hammer, Voice Over Genius

2005-05-11T14:55:00.000-04:00

My voiceover demo is now available online. Just click the title above & you'll be directed to your choice of a streaming file or a downloadable .mp3.

Click, listen, sell! With John Hammer & BigMouthAudio, it's that easy!

John Hammer, Creative Director

2005-05-08T20:02:00.000-04:00

Twenty years. Two decades. It's been a long time, but a great ride. I'm an accomplished broadcaster, writer and producer. Get all the details by clicking the title above to download my broadcast resume.

John Hammer, Motorsports Broadcaster

2005-05-08T19:18:00.000-04:00

I've been a broadcaster for 2 decades, I've been a car guy for just as long. Not many folks get to combine two things they love so much, but I am blessed to be one.

I am available to announce, broadcast and consult your motorsports program. Simply click the title for my motorsports resume.

Ya'll want sweet tea with that?!

2005-05-03T16:58:00.000-04:00

Well Julie & I went to Charlotte, North Carolina last week. A long weekend to go hang with Steve & Tina who moved there a couple years ago. It's so beautiful there! Plus, we saw the birthplace of Dale Earnhardt...creepy to see the rednecks & mullets! Everywhere!

Way too cool!

2005-05-03T16:38:00.000-04:00

I've been converted into a South Park character! Check me out!

It's Spring...time to clean up the yard!

2005-04-27T13:59:00.000-04:00

For those of us doing yardwork this early in the season, just click on the title. Yes, turn your speakers on. Yes, it's pretty much safe to listen to at work...unless your boss is a total weenie.

Wow, I'm a Lazy Bastard

2005-04-18T11:09:00.000-04:00

I knew it had been a few days since I posted last...but 15? Whoof! Sorry.

OK, well, what's up then...

My bathroom is leaking water, damn plugged drain
My car's thermostat died on the side of I-94 where I fixed it with 80MPH traffic rolling by
We're heading to Charlotte, NC in a week & a 1/2 to hang with our friends Steve & Tina
I got Jethro out of storage on Saturday, time for some brakes, tires & fluids then off to the track!
Back to a low-carb diet & I'm down 10 pounds!

I'll try to keep up better, but you know what a slacker I am!

It's Sundayyyyyyy

2005-04-03T20:31:00.000-04:00

And that means racing! Watching sports cars and Formula 1 today got me excited for the upcoming season. I really have the bug to get "Jethro" my race car back on track. I ordered a new driver's suit, new fireproof undies, a new balaclava (fireproof head sock) and new racing gloves. I'm pretty juiced!

Looks like our first weekend in competition will be May at Grattan Raceway, northeast of Grand Rapids!

Italy is Burning!

2005-04-03T09:22:00.000-04:00

The Pope is dead. The new Ferrari F2005 Formula 1 car was beaten by 7 other guys.

Break out the wine, time to drown their sorrows.

Oh My God...

2005-03-31T12:10:00.000-05:00

Terri Schiavo passed away earlier today. Click the headline. Trust me. Go ahead. Click it. I dare you.

***Update: No, I did NOT write that blog! I'm a sick bastard at times, but I'm simply forwarding that one on to you to consume as you see fit!***

Click This...Laugh!

2005-03-28T14:20:00.000-05:00

Here is the .mp3 of the bit we did that was picked up by The Complete Sheet and sent to radio stations all over the world!!! Just click the title :)

Yesterday was my boss' birthday...so why should I care? Read this & you'll see why I love this industry!

2005-03-25T10:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all of you who sent a birthday greeting today, whether in person, online or on the several cards that turned up on my desk. Your thoughts and best wishes are much appreciated!

I've decided I'm going to just keep turning 49 as long as I'm in Radio! (This was the 5th time...) This business has a way of keeping people young--at least between their EARS. (...don't even go there!!)

Working with all of you is a privilege and an honor. Seeing people grow and develop in every department, entertaining & informing the audience, getting results for clients and impacting our community are truly gifts that many business owners never have a chance to enjoy. Because of your hard work, I see those things every week.

I'm very lucky! I hope I NEVER grow up...and have to get a REAL job. And I hope YOU don't either.

Thanks again!

GO

Gayle Olson
President - General Mgr
Mid-West Family Broadcasting of SW Michigan
580 E. Napier, Benton Harbor, MI 49022

The Radio Stations of Michigan's Great SW

I freakin' ROCK on the RADIO!

2005-03-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

THE biggest morning show prep sheet in the country is called The Complete Sheet. It's VERY funny & all of the big morning shows in the country are on it. Well, a bit that Kluck & I wrote & produced yesterday IS THE LEAD PIECE ON THE COMPLETE SHEET TODAY!!!! We sent it to them to listen to and they posted it for the ENTIRE F'ING COUNTRY TO LISTEN TO AND USE!!!

Hang on, I'll get it posted to the web soon!

Amazing how 1 week can change your brain's position.

Please keep us in your thoughts

2005-03-20T14:58:00.000-05:00

This is the hardest thing to say, but Julie & I have lost our unborn baby.

We had some tests done and knew she wasn't healthy, and now she is in a better place. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Julie, I love you.

John

Today...not so good

2005-03-15T19:49:00.000-05:00

5:04am...Fantastic. One of the most amazing moments of my life.

12:13pm...My world crashed to the ground.

It's official: I can do radio!

2005-03-09T09:28:00.000-05:00

OK gang...

Just got back from the Great Lakes Broadcasting Conference where the Michigan Association of Broadcasters gave their Broadcast Excellence Awards. I won 3 of them and have the winning pieces posted here.

BEST COMMERCIAL: Little Wonders Learning Center, "Raging Terror" http://home.comcast.net/~bigmouthjohn/Little_Wonders_031104_Raging_Terror_Rev.mp3

COMMERCIAL MERIT AWARD: (essentially it's 2nd place in the Best Commercial category...yep, I swept the awards!) Best Way Disposal, "Pretty Stinkin' Innovative" http://home.comcast.net/~bigmouthjohn/Best_Way_050404_Flowers.mp3

BEST MARKETING / PROMOTIONAL ANNOUNCEMENT: WSJM's 2004 Year In Review http://home.comcast.net/~bigmouthjohn/WSJM_122004_YIR_Promo_1.mp3

Hey boss...how 'bout that raise for your Award Winning Creative Services Director? What's that? But I didn't ride in here on a horse...

Thanks for the Support...

2005-03-03T18:34:00.000-05:00

Now that the word is getting out that we're having a baby girl...the "advice" is rolling in...

From my pal Wolfie at the office: He says that if I were having a boy, I'd have to worry about 1 penis in the neighborhood. But since I'm having a girl...well, I'll have to worry about ALL the penises in the neighborhood.

Thanks Dave. Ya ass!

It's a GIRL!

2005-03-02T15:51:00.000-05:00

Julie & I just got back from the doctor's office and the ultrasound appointment: our baby is a GIRL!

OK, now what do I do? You think I didn't know what the hell to do with a boy, I know even less to do with a girl! This is shaping up to be one helluva adventure.

The pictures we got today are pretty fuzzy...she was moving around quite a bit and apparently sleeping on her stomach. Not the best pose from our angle. We'll head back in a month to take more pictures and try to get a shot of her face. We did see feet, spine, heart, brain & other major parts...and they all looked just perfect!

Stay tuned for more details!

I'm the BEST in the STATE!

2005-02-14T15:24:00.000-05:00

Well, what a day I've had. We got word this morning that the Michigan Association of Broadcasters had awarded their annual Broadcast Excellence Awards...and that we'd done pretty well. There's an understatement! WSJM, our News / Talk station was the MAB's 2004 Station Of The Year and it looks like we're going to repeat for a second year!

Our news department won 6 awards for their coverage of various stories.

I did pretty damn well too:

Radio Commercials:
Best Commercial: Little Wonders Learning Center "Raging Terror"
Merit Award: Best Way Disposal "Pretty Stinkin' Innovative"

Marketing Materials/Promo:
Best: WSJM Year In Review Promo

Yep, I wrote & produced THREE award winning pieces this year! What? Is my ego HUGE? Hey, it ain't braggin' if you can back it up!

Ok, Ok...Let me have the thrill for today, it'll be back to the grind soon, but for now, I'm pretty freakin' proud of myself & my friends here at the radio stations!

I'm BACK ON THE AIR!!!

2005-02-13T11:20:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to tell you how swollen my ego has been this week. Just an amazing experience...something I honestly never expected to do again...but here I am, grabbing for my headphones, showprep sheets & heading back into the studio.

If you know me, maybe you're not surprised that I'm back on the radio again. I've heard that from a bunch of folks so far: "You couldn't stay away could you?" or "You're too good not to be on the air" (thank you for that one, that's way too flattering). Fact is, I wasn't sure if I could still do it. It's been nearly 3 years since I'd been on the air and the skills required to be a great personality are different than the skills I use everyday as a Creative Director. Still...I was wonderfully relieved when it all seemed to come back. I still need to work better at it, and that will happen as I spend more time behind the microphone.

I was having a discussion at the office the other day with a co-worker who's spouse hates their job. Even Julie has had her time when she questions what she does everyday from 8-5. I feel terribly sorry for folks who live their lives that way...we've only got 1 shot on this orb...let's do what makes us feel best. After 20 years, I'm still getting that thrill in radio stations!

If you're in southwest Michigan, check out Rock 107 WIRX (107.1fm) and listen for me!

Superbowl sucked as usual...but...

2005-02-09T20:09:00.000-05:00

Click on the link for the full length version of the GoDaddy.com commercial. The FCC has broadcasters panties in such a bunch that the network pulled the second airing of the :30 second version of this. What the hell is my industry coming to?

Swingers...in GAYLORD! Yikes!

2005-02-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

Saturday night in Gaylord, after our WSA Snocross races, we went to Timothy's Pub...just a local townie bar. In the corner of the bar was a group of...SWINGERS! The scary part, they're ugly, nasty people there. Not hot. Nobody that I would have done! It was just horrible! That said...we got to do an hour of GREAT radio talking about it this morning. Totally cool!

Speaking of that...I am back on the air! Helping out Kluck on the Too Damn Early Morning Show on Rock 107! Check it out!

Hammer's baby will be ugly...at least for a while!

2005-02-01T09:42:00.000-05:00

Babies are born ugly...it's a simple fact. Click the title for a story on WHY they're ugly!

Hey...the baby works!

2005-01-28T16:07:00.000-05:00

How wild is this? Click the title to download an .mp3 of our unborn baby's heartbeat! What? Yes...I'm an audio dweeb, I took a digital recorder into the doctor's office. So what?! I've got a copy of my kid's heartbeat & you don't! Na na na na naaaa! ;)

Cheese Curds?

2005-01-23T22:33:00.000-05:00

So I've been hanging out in Madison, WI the last few days. We had a corporate Program Director seminar going on and the bosses wanted me to be part of it. It's really made me want to be back on the air. In fact, there's a chance I may do some on-air work again in the near future. I'll keep you posted on that!

In a related story...I have yet to try these "cheese curds" that folks talk about. I don't quite get it...sounds like something really gross...apparently it's skimmed off the top of the cooked cheese? Yuk!

So you wanna be on TV huh?

2005-01-20T11:07:00.000-05:00

In Jon Stewart's new book, he's got a formula to come up with your TV name. Have fun!

Anchorman (recommended formula: one syllable type of construction material + breed of horse)
- Brick Shetland
- Chip Clydesdale
- Stone Winchester
- Wood Lippizaner

Sportscaster/Weatherman (recommended formula: one syllable kitchen related verb + nonsensical multi syllable compound)
- Flip Greencat
- Dash Sledboat
- Slice Carhat
- Squirt Mudbottom

Women (recommended formula: regular first name with pretentious misspelling + alliterative surname that sounds like a first name)
- Daran Davids
- Mikhaela Michaels
- Larra Leslees
- Jennn Johnnnson

Time to name the baby...

2005-01-20T09:46:00.000-05:00

Click the link for our 100% unscientific, unrealistic and certainly unusual poll.

We did get a baby name book for Christmas...and would you believe that they really have "Espn" listed as a boy's name. WTF? If you name your kid Espn, you need to be shot. Not fatally, but in the pubis region...

Suddenly my fetishes don't seem so odd...

2005-01-20T08:41:00.000-05:00

Pennsylvania's James Cassell literally had a mess on his hands. Cassell has pleaded guilty after he was caught by police, sitting in his car, wearing loose fitting shorts with no other clothing, unless you count the women's thong underwear he had on underneath, and with a tremendous amount of Vaseline covering his entire body and the interior of his vehicle. Also in the vehicle were pornographic magazines, sex toys, women's garter bands and leggings. While it should have gone without saying, Cassell admitted to having a problem pleasuring himself in public places.

WTF?! Call me crazy, but I like my sex the old fashioned way... you know: A guy, 2 girls and some porn on the hotel Spectravision! LOL

How cold is it?

2005-01-15T07:58:00.000-05:00

It's so cold that they cancelled our Snocross race this weekend. Now think about this for a moment: our racers have the warmest cold weather gear, their entire sport is based around being outside in the winter...and our folks have (smartly) decided that this is too cold even for us. Weekend hi's are expected to barely creep above Zero.

Instead, I'm going to hang out on my couch watching TV...perhaps with a nice hot cup of cocoa or some soup. If it's that chilly indoors...I'll turn up the thermostat. LOL

Tsunami Photos

2005-01-13T12:35:00.000-05:00

Click the title above for some incredible before & after aerial photos of the Tsunami disaster. I bitch about living in Michigan...but at least we don't have this to deal with.

Winter in Michigan SUCKS!

2005-01-12T21:32:00.000-05:00

Today it was 52 degrees! By Thursday night the low is expected in the single digits.

Q: Why is there a rear window defroster on a Yugo?
A: To keep your hands warm while pushing it!

Thank you! I'll be here all week...try the veal, it's delicious! ;)