John Hammer's BigMouthRacing.com

Got this one from the gals at the office...I'm sure you'll appreciate it too ;) 

Even the kind of racing that I do. This video is from the equivalent race series to what I run, but in New Zealand (note that the cars are right hand drive). The good news: the driver is OK.

http://www.2plus2tv.com/crashjc.mpg

Now that we're all freaked out, let's relax with a bit of levity...

http://www.teampointless.com/Hyundai_The_Silent_Killer.WMV

• Happiness is a product of focus
• Focus comes from having a purpose
• Having a purpose comes from being needed
• Being needed comes from serving others

• Monday...back to work. I didn't get any breakfast and my stomach is grumblin'!
  
• One of my sales reps is going on & on about how he's found "gently used" suits for sale on eBay. He's talking about $1,000 Armani suits for $100 here...hmmmm...I suppose the bullet holes can be stitched up.
  
• I voiced a commercial for a Surfboard shop in California today! Cool Dude! ;)

Got back from a practice session at Gingerman Raceway last night...oh baby I was haulin' the mail! I hit my personal best lap times: 1:42.77 which would have put me in the top 1/3rd of the last race there. Pretty damn good for a POS car with 170,000 miles on it! Now, we did tear the $#!t out of the left side tires, but what the hell, they're just tires ;)

Up next: I'm off to the Mid Ohio Sports Car Course in Lexington, OH for the Sports Car Club of America's "Runoffs", the national championships for amateur road racers. You'll be able to check my report on Tuesday at AutoRacing1.com.

Well...I'm in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin today. Been here since Saturday...we leave on Tuesday. The entire city is one big tourist trap with cheezy museums, tiny mom & pop owned theme parks and an influx of toothless white trash. The resort we're at (the Chula Vista Resort) is a "Southwestern Themed" facility, as in Pueblo Indian type of Southwest. Arizona type of Southwest. But mixed in with the indian rugs on the walls are stuffed white tailed deer (uh...they're not from the desert!). Pretty crazy really.

Midwest Family Broadcast Group has a long running history of alcoholism apparently...and thanks to a free running tab at the bar, I've seen and heard things that normal, wool suit wearing conservatives would normally shy away from. Long story short, my company employs a lot of Horn Dogs!

My buddy Scott Adams is a personality on Hot 104 in Mobile, Alabama...right where Hurricane Ivan came to shore this morning. Here's his note to me (complete with California edits!)

Yo f*cker!!!

What a crazy 24 hrs. I never want to hear anyone b!tch about Michigan weather ever again!!!!! Mobile is okay. Trees, and powerlines down. East side of town going to, and including pensacola is f*cked up bad. Our transmitter tower got snapped in half. It's in four pieces in a field and half buried in mud. We'll be off for awhile. We're not the only ones...country/WKSJ, urban/WBLX, Hot AC/WJXQ, and NBC TV affil. WPMI were all on the same tower. Anyhoo, gotta run....heard there's a Subway open running on generator, and a hot meal would be nice. Gotta go check on my house, too. Been at the radio station for the past 24 hrs. It's all good here. Got large generators that can go for days. So, we're able to keep the beer cold! :-)

Adam

Play with this...http://www.rhetorical.com/cgi-bin/demo.cgi

1. 50% of our wardrobes really do consist of free t-shirts: t-shirts from Radio stations we’ve worked for, t-shirts given to us for participating in charity events and t-shirts from movie and record promtions. If you are ever at a garage sale and you see more than 2 t-shirts with Radio station logos on them, chances are very good a Radio person lives there. (Make sure you fumigate anything you buy.)

2. Evening DJs get propositioned more than any other air-shift, usually from under-age females. Being seduced by any of these little pixies is also known as “walking the jail-bait tightrope”.

3. “Rule of the Phones”: if she sounds sexy, more times than not, she isn’t. Generally, the ladies who call into Radio stations, in the hopes of luring the DJ into some kind of rendevouz, fall into one of these categories: 1) someone Richard Simmons should be praying next to 2) Stalkers or 3) 14 year-old Lolitas who are fully prepared to testify in court.

4. You can get on almost any Radio station to promote something if you bring the morning show food. Morning DJs lose all sense of propriety, right, and wrong when you offer them a cinnamon bun with enough icing to put a diabetic into a coma. Other sure-fire ways into the studio: pizza, subs, ribs (big in the South), donuts, and Starbucks.

5. You’re not crazy: Radio people really ARE weird. Seriously. Some of them are close to psychotic. Most probably fall into the middle: safely bizarre. Why? Nobody knows. The best we can figure, there is something about the mixture of power to control a medium and the ability to perform on it which attracts this one segment of society which could not possibly function within the confines of a standard, 9 - 5 job. Is it any wonder more and more health care plans in Radio now offer psychological benefits? Mmmm?

6. Yes, we really DO get fired as much as you’ve heard. Radio people get fired because formats change, because ratings go down, because Radio stations get sold, because of budget cuts, because of vendettas, because some drink too much and don’t show up for work, because some drink too much and DO show up for work, and because morals clauses in contracts are sometimes broken (Please see: Evening DJs).

7. You don’t want to see us in person. Really. We usually look: fatter, thinner, older, and younger than you thought. We never equal your imagination. We should be required to wear ski masks on all external outings - for the good of all humanity.

8. We’re pathetic whiners. Really. We bitch and moan about how hard it is to drag our butts out of bed at 3 A.M. just so we can sit on our ass for four hours and talk. Please.

9. We have a high divorce rate. Why? For starters we move around a lot. You should only marry someone in Radio if you either 1) have a personal U-Haul 2) have a relative in the moving business or 3) you have tiny little wheels surgically attached to the bottoms of your feet. Besides the moving problem, marriages and relationships of Radio people are constantly tested by fans who come on to them. (Please see: Evening DJs.)

• Looks like we're going to Gingerman on Thursday after work. I'm looking forward to that. Anytime I can get more seat time in the racecar it's a good day.
• Have you seen the George W. Bush billboards? They're great: "Boots Or Flip-Flops? Bush/Cheney '04" LOVE THAT!
• Why does chewing gum taste like such $#!t after just a few minutes? In this world of technology, you'd think someone could make the flavor last a couple hours.

How do you know when your wife is having an affair?? LOL I like how she must have had her head up off the hood. :)

I figured it's time I get into this Blog-thing...Lord knows I've got plenty to say and now there's a place to say it. I'll be giving you my thoughts on life, love and motorsports (how's that for a mix of crap!). Should be interesting!